Writing my buddy's performance summary

So, Charlie wanted me to write something up for his performance summary, apparently he has copied and pasted the same generic blurb for the past 4-5 years because he is too lazy to write a new one. After laughing racously, I quickly typed up the following and sent it to him. Whats sad is that he is actually going to use it.

Charlie ****** has performed consistently at a high level throughout 2005. He has demonstrated an insatiable drive for perfection and achievement while at the same time delivering products on or before schedule.

Oftentimes provided with difficult deadlines and requirements, Charlie has proven to his colleagues his dedication to the team by staying late and working weekends to see projects through.

Charlie is also an excellent communicator, often facilitating discussion among his peers and co-workers and displaying an aptitude for mediating disputes among his peers.

I also have conquered my company's proxy servers. Previously all streaming video/audio were blocked, but now I can listen to my favorite morning show. Yay! DOWN WITH THE TYRANTS!!